Don't you go spouting off at the mouth about your horrible day until you've heard about mine:
So I'm at this bar in NE Portland Saturday night and I've had quite a few beers so far, so needless to say, I need to take a leak bad.
When I get into the bathroom, both urinals are taken, so I rush into the stall, which I assume is empty. Well, it wasn't. The dumb ass in there forgot to lock the stall door behind him when he went in to take a shit.
It wouldn't have been a big deal, except for the fact that when I come into the stall, I already have my dick out of my pants because I have to go so bad and I've let off a little stream of piss that actually got on this guy's leg. Not a lot, but just a little bit that I let go because I assumed that the stall was empty!
Well, the guy, gets all angry that I've pissed on him, so he pulls up his pants and starts to chase me out of the fucking bathroom! I was able to get out of there safely, but in all the commotion, I pushed my friend who was standing outside of the bathroom, Michael Bauske, into the men's room as I ran out and closed and held the door shut, so the guy couldn't get out and kick my ass.
As I was holding the door to the men's room shut with all my strength, so as to protect myself from all harm, I guess the guy focused his anger on Michael and for a while it sounded like they both were really going at it!
Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that I haven't seen Michael for about three days now so if any of you see him, let me know, because I've given up looking.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Jerry Lee Lewis shot Emmit Smith! Holy Shit!!!
I just read this on cnn.com:
Houston- Rock and roll legend Jerry Lee Lewis has been charged with the murder of former running back of the Dallas Cowboys, Emmitt Smith.
Lewis, 71, was arrested wednesday after an altercation in a Houston night club, in which Houston Police claim Lewis pulled a gun and shot Smith in the chest, critically wounding the NFL great. Smith was rushed to a near by hospital but died shortly thereafter due to complications. He was 37.
Jerry Lee Lewis (born September 29, 1935), also known by the nickname The Killer, is an American rock and roll and country music singer, songwriter, and pianist. An early pioneer of rock and roll music, Lewis was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1986 and his pioneering contribution to the genre has been recognized by the Rockabilly Hall of Fame.
Smith is the first player in NFL history to have five straight seasons with over 1,400 rushing yards. Smith and Jim Brown are the only players with seven straight 10-touchdown seasons to start their career. With 1,021 yards rushing in 2001, Smith became the first player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in 11 consecutive seasons and the first to post 11 1,000-yard rushing seasons in a career. He is also the NFL's all-time leader in rushing attempts with 4,409.
- David McGreggor
cnn.com
Houston- Rock and roll legend Jerry Lee Lewis has been charged with the murder of former running back of the Dallas Cowboys, Emmitt Smith.
Lewis, 71, was arrested wednesday after an altercation in a Houston night club, in which Houston Police claim Lewis pulled a gun and shot Smith in the chest, critically wounding the NFL great. Smith was rushed to a near by hospital but died shortly thereafter due to complications. He was 37.
Jerry Lee Lewis (born September 29, 1935), also known by the nickname The Killer, is an American rock and roll and country music singer, songwriter, and pianist. An early pioneer of rock and roll music, Lewis was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1986 and his pioneering contribution to the genre has been recognized by the Rockabilly Hall of Fame.
Smith is the first player in NFL history to have five straight seasons with over 1,400 rushing yards. Smith and Jim Brown are the only players with seven straight 10-touchdown seasons to start their career. With 1,021 yards rushing in 2001, Smith became the first player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in 11 consecutive seasons and the first to post 11 1,000-yard rushing seasons in a career. He is also the NFL's all-time leader in rushing attempts with 4,409.
- David McGreggor
cnn.com
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